Blue Kitten: Part 3

A very blue kitten 3 hours in:

I know what you are thinking, "Sure hope it doesn't stay like this." Don't worry, I am also hoping the same thing. :) 

Dear John: Stargazer Lilly final

Lilly painting finished:

A little bit of glare again, and the color is also just slightly off, however, it is probably the truest photo I have taken of the lilly yet. I will have to consult my photography doing sister on how to improve. 

Here is a detail: 

As you can see I added the dots, but ever so slightly. I feel like they look slightly noncommittal, but I figured I would rather go for subtle than bold and hate it. I think I like noncommittal. 

Here is the complete progression of the lilly, about 17 hours in total: 

Now I just have to wait for it to dry and then ship it out. I hope she likes it. 

Dear John: Stargazer Lilly part 5

Here it is after another 45 mins or so:

I need to figure out some place to photograph my paintings in order to eliminate glare, however until that happens... yay glare! I probably should also stop being so lazy and stop taking these photos with my phone, but it is just so damn convenient. 

Here is the lilly with the background finished, the bud toned down, the leaves finished (I was originally going to put more detail into the leaves, but in the end decided against it, wanting the flower to focus one's attention), which means that the painting is almost finished, but there is just one problem...I am a coward. 

It is time, finally to add the little spikes of color, but I am nervous to do it. Being nervous like this is a problem I have had since I was about seven or eight years old. I would draw something in pencil and then be terrified that I would ruin it when I added color. Not that it would be ruined by color, but that I would ruin it by being an awful colorer. 

I remember one summer being particularly frustrated by this because of my older sister's art works. I was probably around ten or eleven and I was visiting my dad for the summer, as per usual; but this particular summer my second oldest sister (who is six years older than me) had started to live with my dad several months before we (the twins and I) arrived. 

In her bedroom she had arranged along a wall drawings she had made, mostly of disney characters, and they were all finished in colored pencil. I had been staring in awe at these things for weeks. I remember one day being up in her room drawing, a couple of kittens, on the floor. When the pencil drawing was done I was so nervous to color the kittens in, because, of course, the drawing was super great. I asked my sister if she was ever nervous to color in her drawings. CG looked down from her bed at me confused and responded with a, "No, of course not." 

Sigh...if only. Maybe I will wait the two weeks I had originally thought I would need to wait for it to dry.

      

My goals for the rest of 2014

This morning I spent a good amount of time thinking about applying to galleries and getting into shows, etc. All good things, but after doing a lot of web searching and getting very overwhelmed, I decided to slow down and figure out what steps I need to take in order to get to the point of showing in a gallery. I created a type of self-contract through the rest of the year. I hope to accomplish the following with my contract: one, get a solid body of work produced that I can truly call me, and two get my pet portrait website up and running. The contract is as follows:    

Oct - Nov: Complete 10 paintings to get my pet portrait thing up and off the ground a little bit. Here are my ideas:

1. Zirker painting - Cat 
2. Griffin painting - Fish 
3. Siebach painting - Dog 
4. Smith painting - Dog
5. Autumn - Cat  
6. Gershwin - Cat 
7. Sebastian or Tink - Cat 
8. Tungate painting - Dog 
9. Raynes painting - Hedgehog 
10. Thacker painting - Snake

That will make 3 dog, 4 cat, and 3 others. 

Dec- Jan: Complete a painting for the Hogle Zoo Art competition, due Jan. 19th. Work on two additional paintings of dogs. 

Side Project for Oct - Dec: 2 t-shirt designs

1. Twin Geeks
2. Other

I feel that this is a solid plan for the rest of the year. Let's see how much of it I actually get done. I really want to start pushing myself. 

Blue Kitten: Part 2

Kitten drawing update:

I like the flowers more, however, now it looks like he is sitting in a bunch of weeds. I may erase something. The goal is to start painting this one tomorrow. 

Blue Kitten and Twin Geeks

The past two days I have not done any painting. For a couple of reasons: one, in order to add the final touches to the stargazer lilly, I want it to dry for about two weeks; two, I have been gathering materials for my next two projects.

Project 1: a painting for one of my best friend's, ixoj, mom. Last year ixoj's mom's cancer ended up coming back. Mom had been in remission for about ten years I believe, and to top it off, mom's favorite cat died.

Ixoj's mom is once again cancer free, after a lot of not so fun cancer related stuff, and I was supposed to get this painting to her...oh about a year ago? Which makes me a poopy, terrible person. However, in my defense I have painted this cat three times now. Two oils, and one watercolor and none of them have been, well, good.

However, I hope that the fourth times a charm? Here is the drawing that I have so far for it:

I have learned a couple of things from trying to paint this cat so many times. One is that I am horrible at drawing cats, horrible. This is sad for me, considering how much I super love cats. Another is that, well no that is it, I suck balls at drawing/painting cats, particularly white cats. 

Example of poopiness: there is something wrong with the cat's mouth. An angle is off somewhere else in the face that is making the dots not quiet connect in my brian, but I have redrawn this thing too many times, so I guess the mouth stays. (frown)

My friend asked for the painting to have a lot of blue in it, because her mom super loves blue. The flowers I added around the cat are blue columbines. These flowers are actually very small, but I think they look nice enlarged, except for the flowers in front. They are larger than the others, which gives the image a little bit of perspective, I hope...? But I think that they may be too big. I am going to erase them and figure something else out. 

Project 2: a T-shirt design I have titled Twin Geeks. Only one twin posed for this photo op, but I mean, really, do I need both? I think not. The top girl is going to be Zelda and the bottom girl is going to be Leah. I hope this works, because if it does, it is going to be awesome. 

Dear John: Stargazer Lilly part 4

The past two days I have not painted. Friday was more mega family drama, which hopefully means no family drama for at least a week, right? (sigh) Saturday morning I was supposed to go on a hike with my husband and his friend, but I bailed. I was pretty emotionally drained and ended up sleeping in until almost 11:00.

Husband and friend hiked to Lake Blanche, in SLC. Husband said that it was his most favorite hike ever, probably because he saw a moose. I was a little sad to miss out an such a great hike, however it was probably better that I slept and we are going to go back next Saturday. 

Here are some photos of the hike:

 I did end up working out and cleaning the house, and when he got back we went to my mom's to watch the BYU football game. My newest niece also took her first crawling...shuffles? It was pretty great. 

Today church is cancelled for the rededication of the Ogden Temple, I think? We did not go, because we are lazy, however, I did paint! 

Lilly after about another 3 hours: 

I think that I am just about done with it, even though it is more stylized than I would like it to be. A few things that I still need to do: finish the background, finish the leaves, paint a light purple gray glaze over the bud to help it recede a little bit (and probably add some shadow to lower half as well), decide if I want to add more white to the lower, center petal, and finally add the little dark spots/spikes of color that are so characteristic to a lilly.  

I did end up graying the purple shadows just a bit, which I do like more. I also really like the way the painting looks from about 10 feet away. It looks like an actual flower, which makes me happy, however, as you move closer...not so much. 

In the end, even though I don't super love it, I still feel that it is a solid step towards where I want my art to go.  

Dear John: Stargazer Lilly part 3

Yesterday the universe did not want me to paint. I got up early, worked out, got dressed, and was ready to go... but then several people called me. I don't super love talking on the phone, and most people know this about me. Those who called me yesterday all know this, so when one of them calls me, I pick up. That coupled with hours of weird family drama and I gave up.

Today, however, was a different story. I was a complete lazy pile, slept in, didn't work out, didn't shower until super late in the day (which then turned into a lavender bubble bath), and I had hours to paint. Go figure.

Lilly after about, I think, five more hours:

It is beginning to come along, which is nice; although I don't super love it, which is not so nice. At one point I added blue to the shadows on a petal and this turned the shadow into a darker purplish mixture. I thought I liked it, so on impulse did it to all of the shadows. :( 

It looks fine, but too stylized, which is exactly from what I am trying to move away. (groan) Too bad that didn't stop me from continuing down stylized lane today. Bright side #1, it at least looks like a flower. Bright side #2, the flower looks bright and happy, which is a good thing. Maybe I will let the shadows dry and then paint back over them. 

Dear John: Stargazer Lilly part 2

Lilly after about another 3 hours:

Now that I have the beginning layer of the background blocked in, I don't love the upper right petal. I think I may shrink it down. I also cannot decide if the middle right petal is creating a little bit of tension by being too close to the edge. It may just be that the blue circling the petal is the problem? I will have to think on this.  

Dear John

My family is so mixed up that I usually tease and call us the "true American nuclear family." My father has been married three times and my siblings are as follows, from oldest to youngest: JG (from first wife), C (first wife), JW (step sister from third wife), me, M and E (twins and my only full sisters), S (third wife), and MG (the only boy also from third wife).

My twin sisters are, as cliche as it may sound, two of my best friends, but with the rest I have varying levels of a relationship. One relationship that circumstance has never lent to being very deep, but oddly strong is the one I have with my oldest sister, JG.

JG's husband passed away in August due to brain cancer. It was expected, but still devastating. I felt out of place at John's life ceremony, wanting to support, but not entirely sure how. When I got home I decided to paint her a painting, as a way to show my love. It is of her favorite flower, a stargazer lilly.

Here is the painting after four hours:

Shhh...it is a secret blog! Well, except that you found it.

I made this blog years ago, wrote a few things, and then never came back, until today (queue dramatic "dun dun dun" music)! Are blogs supposed to start off with a "why I blog" blog post? I don't think that I have ever actually read anyone's first blog post before (shrug). Either way, below is a little explanation about why I am going to start doing this, and why I will most likely never tell anyone about it, yet all the while not keeping it private, interesting.

Mostly this blog is going to be about art, with a little bit of me and buddy boy sprinkled in. I am writing it with the hope that it will help encourage me to paint more. Maybe over time the blog will change into something more personal, or rather, more about my own adventures, but for now mostly just about art. I think....

Art and I have an interesting relationship. I graduated in art history with a minor in art, got a big person job for seven years, and then went back to school (while working full time, not fun) to finish a BFA and a minor in chemistry. The plan was to get ready for a masters in art restoration, but then I got married and plans kind of changed. I did get into the BFA program I applied to, but it was frustrating to say the least. The program I was enrolled in was drama filled (art professors can be crazy) and not super helpful. I quit my job last year, and now I just quit school. I feel that recently I have been floundering. The past five months have been mega downers for no reason in particular, except that I have had a ton of time and have no paintings to show for it. This has lead to a lot of interpersonal exploration. I don't know why I keep refusing to paint, because I love it, but I think I have happened upon a possible reason: my mom and grandma. 

Two really great people, who are also really great passive-aggressive manipulators. Without getting into too much detail, I think I have been rebelling for years, big time, against their guilt ridden manipulation to get me to go into art. The problem is that I think that I actually really do want to go into art. Weird I know right? What can I say? 

I want to start this blog as a way to hold me accountable to my art as well as a way to work out my feelings about choosing art verses being guilted into art. I need to start seeing me doing art as a way of using my agency and not as a way of giving into them and them winning. 

I am also going through a change with my style, which is frustrating, but I know I just need to push through and get her done. This change, coupled with the fact that I am painfully shy, makes it difficult for me to show my art to others. Keeping this blog secret, but not private, is a way for me to "show" my new work, without actually showing it.    

Sooo... here we go!